The Most DIE-HARD FAN in All of American Sports

How far would your go for your team? Just asking...
How far would your go for your team? Just asking…

By Roy Wood Jr.

Earlier this month, former New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was sentenced to life in prison for the murder of an associate, Odin Lloyd. The trial dragged on for much longer than it needed to and like most court cases in this country, all sides spoke their piece once a verdict had been handed down.

Attorneys spoke, jurors spoke, but the most interesting thing said at the conclusion of the Hernandez trial probably was by the relative of yet ANOTHER MAN who Hernandez is believed to have murdered.

Susan Vincente said “I’m still a Patriots fan. (Aaron) was just one person.”

Excuse me?…

Murder is no joking matter, which is why I find it so AMAZING that anyone with ties to the hurricane that is Aaron Hernandez still would have enough love in his or her heart for the New England Patriots.

Susan Vincente officially is the most die-hard fan in all of American sports. She’s more die-hard than the Raider fans in the black hole who paint their face. The Dawg Pound in Cleveland has nothing on Susan Vincente.

Philadelphia fans love to prank around and act like they’re the best sports town with the best fans. I’m sorry, Susan Vincente just sewed up the victory for the city of Boston.

Though he’s yet to be brought to trial for the murder, Susan Vincente believes Aaron Hernandez killed her cousin and CONTINUES to root for the Patriots.

In a world where sports fans will turn their backs on a team for something as fickle as changing the logo (I’m looking at you Dolphins fans) what Susan is doing is nothing short of amazing.

LeBron James left Cleveland and people lost their mind. I was INFURIATED when the Charlotte Hornets left for New Orleans. The Hornets were my National Basketball Association team, but the moment they moved I tore down my Mugsy Bogues poster. I threw away my Alonzo Mourning Trapper Keeper and I was DONE with basketball for life.

That’s all it took was the team changing cities. Larry Johnson didn’t come to my house and slap me around. Mourning did kick in my front door and demand I give him my money. They did nothing to me and I hated them.

Sure, the league has since given me a franchise back in Charlotte again. I root for them, but it‘s not the same… just ain’t.

I’m a fan of the Miami Dolphins, and let me tell you something if our star tight end decided to murder one of my family members, not only would I wage war against him and the Miami Dolphins, I would wage war on ACTUAL dolphins. I would get a boat, a baseball bat, and a case of dynamite and row out into the Caribbean and just chunk sticks of dynamite over board. Whatever floats to the top would get beat with that bat.

Would there be collateral damage? Of course. A few manatees, maybe a porpoise, a sea turtle, but hey it is what it is. War is ugly and this dolphin has to be brought to justice.

WRITER’S NOTE: This is all fantasy, no aquatic mammals were harmed in the writing of this article.

When we choose a sports team to pledge allegiance to, very few of us realize what it is we’re signing up for. Through thick and thin NO MATTER WHAT you root for that team. Very few sports fans understand that.

Susan Vincente does. And that’s what makes her the Most Die-Hard Fan in all of American Sports.

WRITER’S NOTE: It’s important that I make the distinction that Susan Vincente is the most die-hard fan in all of AMERICAN sports. Soccer fans overseas still take the cake because they murder strangers and remain at the stadium AFTER the murder, to catch the second half of the game.

COMEDIAN ROY WOOD JR. HAS BEEN FEATURED ON NBC’S LAST COMIC STANDING, TBS’ SULLIVAN AND SON, AND ESPN’S SPORTSNATION