All right guys, if you’re looking for love, this list is definitely for you. If you have a lady already and somehow tied her down without doing the 11 things below, please take notes on how to keep her around. Don’t worry about stealing your little sister’s “Cosmo” to try to get into the mind of women, I’ll save you the trouble and tell you how to make yourself more attractive to women right now.
1. Chivalry is not dead: Open the door for her. The car, the house, the store, or the restaurant. It’s not hard and it doesn’t cost a thing. Every time a man opens the door for me I literally swoon. It makes me want to push a guy against the car and kiss him right there.
2. Go to the gym: Don’t get me wrong, Jonah Hill is charming and funny but so is Ryan Gosling (and then some). You do the math. Beer bellies are not very attractive from, you know, that angle. You don’t have to be a body builder, but taking care of yourself will go a long way in my book.
3. Leave the pessimism at the door: If you’re the type of dude who hates on everything under the sun STOP right now. Nobody wants to be with a man they think is too hard to please. A guy who is fun to be around instantly moves to the top of my list.
4. Leave the cross-trainers at home: A man’s shoes say a lot about him. Some girls won’t even give you a chance if you don’t have good shoes. Honestly, I’m not a big fan of tennis shoes either way, so invest in a nice pair of wingtip dress shoes or smoking flats. Don’t know what smoking flats are? Look it up. If you wear Crocs EVER….I’m sorry but it’s not happening.
5. Be Polite: If you’re rude to the waiter, the receptionist, whoever that’s a reflection on the kind of person you are. Stay light-hearted and understand things happen and often are out of your control. There’s no point in taking it out on the waiter, that’s a big red flag that you’ll take it out on me.
6. Stop talking about yourself and just listen: While they won’t admit it, women love to talk about themselves. Let them talk, listen, and enjoy the view.
7. Shut it down: You’ve both had a long day of work and have finally been seated to enjoy a good meal. I know your friend posted a hilarious picture of his dog on a skateboard and the Mavs are winning, but please put the phone on silent or simply turn it off. As I mentioned before, we love attention. Please don’t make us feel like your cell phone’s mistress is her stomach. If you don’t know how to cook, take a class, record an episode of Roger Mooking’s Everyday Exotic or just check out his recipes online (rogermooking.com). Even if it’s something as simple as homemade brisket grilled cheese, she’ll appreciate the effort.
9. Just breathe: No seriously! Before you whisper in her ear or lean in for that kiss, go to the bathroom, put your hand in front of your mouth and just breathe. Bad breath is a true deal breaker and mood wrecker. I recommend flossing and using a tongue scraper daily. Keep a pack of mints or breath strips in your pocket always. You’ll thank me later.
10. Confidence is key: Who cares if you don’t drive a Lamborghini? Even if you’re rolling in a used Honda, if you’re confident you’re light years ahead of the game. Be comfortable in your own skin and you’ll make us feel more comfortable in ours.
11. For the love of God, please take a bath or shower: …like daily. You’re not in colleg anymore. You’re an adult and the whole “I haven’t showered for weeks” look is so not sexy.