VD Recovery Kit

Ok, so we’re not actually talking about VD here, of course we mean Valentine’s Day but if you buy the wrong present or even worse forget about the day all together you will soon be seeing the inside of the local ICU. Here are some things to help you “get well soon” so to speak.

Ok guys this is a gift for those of you in relationships two months or longer (anything under two months she’s only entitled to a stuffed bear from CVS). Pick something classy and try not to come off as the creepy hornball that she will never want to call again. This should cost you at least $75.

Oh yes, the sweet aphrodisiac will put a smile back on her face and make her forget all about how you got drunk at the bar last week and asked her sister for her number…better yet you better buy two boxes. $95

Spa Day
So you forgot Valentine’s Day but can remember Troy Aikman’s birthday, no problem. Nothing says forgive me like giving her a days worth of other men’s hands all over her. She will come home relaxed, rejuvenated and a little less mad at you. $250

You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you? If buying underwear, chocolate, a spa day, and throwing in some flowers for good measure didn’t help it’s time to bring out the big guns. It’s time to take a trip to the land of credit card debt. And when shopping for forgiveness be sure to remember the rules of B.S.E – what’s B.S.E. you ask? Big. Shiny. Expensive.

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