Problem: So you really like this girl and you’re trying to get to the next level with her but you just don’t know how. Well your friends here at BLITZ Weekly have got your back! Next time you’re at her house and she suggests watching a movie don’t cower away in fear of the dreaded “chick flick.” Instead of telling her you have to run home because “I think someone stole my car and I have to drive home and check it out” sit through the movie, tough it out and maybe just maybe your boys downstairs (yeah that downstairs) will thank you later. Get the popcorn, some Kleenex, and ready your shoulder soldier it’s going to be a long night.
Here is a list of hormonally sensitive cinema she may put you through:
When they both croak in each other’s arms at the end she will immediately look at you with those “marry me” eyes, which may be bad for you my friend.
When Harry Met Sally
The deli scene will make the whole grueling 96 minutes almost worth it, almost.
Never has there been a more heart-warming story about a hooker. We get all misty-eyed just thinking about it.
It involves Macaulay Culkin and his parents are not leaving him behind on Christmas. Basically it sucks to be you.
On second thought maybe you should go check on that stolen car.
The English Patient
The story of Candaules and Gyges from Herodotus is a thought provoking moment in the bitter monotony of this Oscar royalty classic.
Bridget Jones’s Diary
“Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs . . . [awkward silence] Dad . . . Hi.” Nice.
Nothing says, “let’s get it on” like making pottery. And oh yeah, there will be dead people too!
Hate to spoil it for ya, but the boat sinks at the end. Just saved you about four hours. You’re welcome.
The Devil Wears Prada
Think that your boss is a tough S.O.B. wait till you get a chance to see Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly. Interns run like tourists when Kong turns the corner.