Why do porn sites know you better than she does?
According to PornHub.com’s traffic meters, when the Denver Broncos lost the Super Bowl last month, the site had a surge of activity from that area. Traffic to the site from Seattle was markedly less, probably because everyone was partying due to the Seahawks winning.
This is hilarious, yet sad to me. The fact that people were so angered or upset by the game that they logged onto PornHub after the halftime show is really silly. That many people had to go rub one out after watching the disaster unfold is indicative of a few things:
- They were so depressed or upset about the game that they needed to relieve some stress.
- They were bored, and with the Super Bowl still on TV they turned to another medium.
- The lack of a partner. Maybe their partner was busy. Maybe she was still watching the game. Perhaps they don’t have partner, or desire one.
That said, one question comes to mind: why turn to porn instead of a woman?
You know, I get that y’all have needs. Those urges that need to be quelled with some visual and physical stimulation. But I have problems understanding why looking at porn is satisfying, and sometimes more so than…the real thing. Yeah, remember that?
Let me be clear. I’m not anti-porn. I think masturbation is a healthy practice. But, like anything else, when it’s done excessively it can be damaging. Every guy I’ve talked to or been with has admitted to me that he’s watched porn. Some had a porn collection. I have found two guys’ collections accidentally. It was awkward. “I didn’t know you were into cheerleaders,” I told one guy after finding a porn DVD under his bed. I was trying to tuck the sheets under his mattress, because I’m a nice person and I was making his bed for him.
“Umm…yeah…my friend gave me that…” His face turned red.
All I could think was, no, he didn’t. You bought it. Come on, own up to it. You bought that crap on DVD and now you’re lying to me because I found it. Why do you need to buy it when you can get it online for free?
Some women who take issue with their men watching porn are upset because they’re wondering “What about me?” My ex-boyfriend a few years ago went to a porn site and started doing his thing when I was in the room. I asked him why he didn’t want to have sex with me, and he responded that he just needed some time with himself. I was hurt and thought he didn’t want to have sex with me at all. I was flabbergasted and thought it was something I did, but it wasn’t. After a few days of reflection, I realized he was escaping into a fantasy land by watching porn. He wanted the fantasy that I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, provide. That’s what disappointed Super Bowl viewers did, too.
It would be interesting if PornHub had the statistics on the gender of those viewing their site before, during, and after the Super Bowl. I’m sure we’d be surprised that a chunk of the visitors were women. Not many women will admit it, but they watch it too. They may not own videos and have magazines, but they’ll go online and watch porn. We’re sneaky about it. We delete the browsing history and then act surprised or upset when we catch men watching porn online. Why, you ask?
Because there’s different types of porn. There’s the slow, erotic, and sexy kind. Then there’s “Oh my God, how is that even possible?” There’s the really nasty and there’s the super boring. Plenty of videos out there to delight viewers of every persuasion. Public sex, three way, BBW, whatever your fancy—there’s a porn video for that.
Also, women watch porn videos that are different from what men might view. We like the ones where the man shows care and attention instead of just going in for the kill. They’re called “female friendly.” These videos focus on getting the woman off, not jack-hammering away without a care. I’m sure there’s plenty of ladies out there who like that sort of intimacy, but I’m willing to bet that most of us aren’t too pleased if that’s the entire sexual episode.
The reason porn sites are successful is that they market fantasies that people are afraid to discuss and enact. It’s time to open up the dialogue and be honest about your fantasies. If you’re retreating to the internet to get off instead of confiding in your partner what kind of stuff gets you hot and randy, then that’s an issue that will affect your relationship if it’s not doing so already. I’m sure she’ll share some of her fantasies with you, and who knows, you might have a common fantasy. I’m sure acting on it will only add to your relationship, not detract from it.