Lawrence McCutcheon was a baaad mutha–
HUSH YOUR MOUTH!
But I was talkin’ about Lawrence!
WE CAN DIG IT!
During the 1970’s, McCutcheon led the Rams in rushing five straight years, making the Pro Bowl each year. In almost all of his cards, Lawrence looks like a man’s man–but his card in 1978 made him appear like he was going to star in a “Shaft” blacksploitation knock off movie, with his sideburns, tousled hair and steely-eyed stare. And don’t be misled–McCutcheon was smooth. While playing mixed doubles tennis with tennis cutie Tracey Austin for charity, he was dating one of the Supremes, but not Diana, Florence or Mary—it was one of the later ones. But still—he dated a Supreme. And playing with the aforementioned short-shorted Tracey. And all that while being one of the top running backs in Rams history. Take THAT, Richard Roundtree.
Mystery Science Theater 3000, in their lambasting of the movie “Space Mutiny” gave the rather over-testosteroned main character various alternate names, such as “Blast Hardcheese”, “Brick Hardmeat”, “Fist Rockbone”, “Flint Ironstag”, “Smash Lampjaw” and “Slab Squatthrust”, just to name a few. (I don’t give that episode justice—hunt it up!). What would a “Shaft” homage movie starring Lawrence McCutcheon in 1978 have for the main character’s name?
My suggestions…
Smoke Jenkins
Slate Pomeroy
Bolt Bandsaw
Fury Thunderpunch
Ram Blocker (maybe for Tom Mack, in a supporting role?)
Thrust Bennington
Bake Lannigan
Thunder Jones
Brake Overstreet
And of course…Rush Powers.
What do you suggest? Collect them all!
Here’s a video to take in as well…
