The Fetus Stage of a Relationship

Posie Pockets shares more advice on relationships.
Posie Pockets shares more advice on relationships.

By Posie Pockets

Budding relationships can be joyous and full of bliss. They can also be a real pain in the derrière. We dream, hope and wish for it so bad. Then when we actually catch hold of it, we’re a nervous, second-guessing wreck. If we can just get past the initial pains of a new relationship, it is worth it. But you still have to trudge through the some times awkward moments.

Call me Sandra Dee and slap a poodle skirt on my ass, but I sure am sick of this texting nonsense from the boys. If you want to take me out, fill my belly full of grub and seal the deal with a toss in the sack, please call and ask me out. Even if you are a good ol’ fashioned boy and truly want a dinner date and that’s it, would it kill you to pick up the phone and verbally invite me? I know some say chivalry is dead, but is telephone common courtesy a lost art too?

I was looking back on the dates I’ve been on in the last few months. Every single one was initiated by a text. The funny thing is I didn’t even realize I wasn’t receiving a phone call. Is this the new norm and am I pitching a fit for nothing?

I feel like us girls have gotten so conditioned that we graciously accept a text as if it was a formal invitation delivered in the mail sealed with a golden stamp. To me, it’s zip effort the guy is putting into the ask.

As texting is the standard, run of the mill communication method, perhaps men think that we women prefer this too. Well I’m making a formal declaration and I’ll gladly call you and deliver the news voice-to-voice. Give the girl a call. It might be awkward and you might be nervous, but suck it up. She’ll appreciate the gesture and it will put you ahead of the pack for sure.

Many parts of a new, fresh relationship I love. In fact I crave it. Other parts make me nervous and queasy. My palms are sweating as I type, just thinking about it. I hate that moment where you “define the relationship.”

It’s established you’re not just another notch in his belt and it’s time to be BF-GF. It’s completely terrible when both parties aren’t on the same page and the other person brings it up. Yikes! I am a fan of the guy manning up and initiating the DTR.

Fellas, if you like a lady and you want her to be your main squeeze, tell her. Tell everyone. If you think she’s fine, chances are another man does too. So snatch her up and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. If she does reject you, I promise she’s going to appreciate you wearing your heart on your sleeve regardless.

Some things are just better left unsaid. There ain’t no need to be dragging out the ex file early on. Some times it will just create neurotic behavior and unwarranted paranoia. I can’t tell you how many times I looked at my ex’s ex’s Facebook profile just to make sure she didn’t look prettier than me that day. What a freakin’ time waster and detrimental to the self-esteem. Of course there is a time and place to bring up a past lover, but within the right context.

Bringing up past relationships too soon may also give the impression the person isn’t over his/her ex yet. The jealousy will brew and the relationship could be wrecked. Why not enjoy the infancy stage of a relationship and not make things too heavy yet? If the relationship lasts, there will be plenty of opportunity to bring up the case of the ex. Until then, keep it under lock and key.

With this next topic, I’m not sure if I’m old fashioned or semi-slutty. If I’m seeing a guy, some times he’ll spend the night. There’s no serious hanky panky going on besides some clothed friction. But I let him spend the night in my bed. To some of my friends, I’m an uptight prude because we‘re not sexing. But to my mom, she is perplexed as to why I have a “stranger” (her word) in my bed. So is it weird and moving too fast to have a slumber party, even if there’s no fornication?

Sleeping next to someone is incredibly intimate and frightening. Don’t even get me started on morning breath or the bodily sounds that can emerge come morning light. Why the hell would anyone want to share their safe haven with someone they’re casually seeing? Our bed is the only place where we can be completely vulnerable and at home – asleep.

I’m definitely going to re-think this with the next guy I date. Sure he can come over for a “movie night” and rattle my headboard a bit with a makeout session. But come time when the credits are scrolling, his rear is walking downstairs and
out the front door.