The Answer Guy: January 16, 2013

Dear Arthur,

As a former exotic dancer I find it hard to find guys who don’t breakout into a 100-meter dash as soon as I tell them. I tried not mentioning it, but it occupied seven years of my life and I don’t like beginning relationships with a lie. Is there any hope?

There is a certain bit of self-loathing that goes into taking off your clothes in a room full of horny-drunk strangers who are all homesick for attention from a woman. And, while you’re taking off your clothes for these men and dancing within the blurred beat of the night, you’re slowly realizing that one day you’re going to get sick of the fast money and faster hands, and want something more out of life. That’s where you are now!

The guys you’ve dated have run off because of the stigma that strippers sleep with their clients. I know this isn’t true for many strippers, but there is sadly a good number who do. When you tell these guys that you danced for seven years; they’re doing the math and wondering if you’re among the ones who do. Dallas did try to regulate prostitution via Frog Town years ago, so nothing should surprise anyone around here.

Everyone doesn’t have to know the finer details of your life, ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE JUST DATING! People tend to be judgmental bastards. It’s best to keep things light when you are dating casually.

Once you decide to enter an actual relationship, then it’s time to tell him that you were a dancer. He should know the type of person you are by then and judge you a little less. If not, he wasn’t the one for you!

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