The Dos and Don’ts of When It’s Over

Note to self: If you have a skin tag, don't tell anyone.
Note to self: If you have a skin tag, don’t tell anyone.

By Karina Manlove

Recently, I had to break things off with a guy I was seeing for a few months.

Almost two months ago, I told him that I wasn’t looking for anything serious and I did not want to be exclusive. I was worried because he told me relatively quickly that he loved me. Well, that’s certainly flattering, I thought. Then later – whoa! What? I can understand saying the ‘l word’ after a few months, but a few weeks is a little hasty! You gotta warm me up before you start saying ‘I love you.’ I’ve had some long-term serious relationships that lasted for a few years and it was probably four or five months before those dudes said they loved me.

Nevertheless, he kept texting me, asking why and wondering if we could “just be friends.” I heard through mutual acquaintances that he had been calling me his girlfriend for some time, which bothered me a bit. When I mentioned him calling me his girlfriend, he said he thought it was okay because we had been seeing a lot of each other. Well…not anymore, especially after I said I found it difficult to “just be friends” with someone I’ve dated. When I told him this, he asked me why, and when I told him it was because I didn’t want any awkwardness between us, he drove to my house, uninvited, to talk to me about my decision.

Sure, I might sound rude or even mean for telling a guy who was obviously very interested in me to leave me alone. After all, he just wanted to get to know me and see what, if anything, transpired between us.

But that wasn’t the issue. I asked my housemate if she’s had a guy do something similar with her, and she told me she has a guy right now who’s practically knocking down her door with text messages.

“I had to ask him to stop,” she said. “He was sending me six or seven messages in a row, pictures of stuff at his job…it was too much!”

I asked if she thought he was clingy and she agreed he was, just like the guy I’d been fending off. Kind sirs, please don’t overload us ladies with tons of texts and pictures or insist upon seeing us when we say we’re busy or not interested. It’s clingy, scary, and off-putting.

Case in point: even though I told him nothing was going to happen between us anymore, he continues to send me messages on Facebook. Yes, on Facebook, even though he has my phone number and I did not block his number. I can’t even upload a picture of freshly baked homemade cookies without a comment like “can you save me some???” Really bro? We aren’t together. And I know that sounds really Taylor Swift of me.

Then he told me one thing that really made me squirm. Y’all, please, no matter how frank you want to be with your wife, girlfriend, friend with benefits, significant other, etc., please don’t say what he told me. Trust me, they don’t want to know.

I got a text from him that said “so I have a skin tag by my junk, and the doctor just told me today it’s a wart.”

That’s never something I expected to hear, nor wanted to know. If you get a wart on your nether regions, have it removed, quietly! Please don’t text people you have a wart, especially someone you are attracted to. That’s no way to get a woman’s attention. In fact, as soon as I got that message, I couldn’t believe it was real – I had to reread it a few times before it sunk in – and then I laughed in disbelief.