If you’ve been alive for more than about a week you’ve probably picked up on these really annoying fluctuations in popular cuisine casually referred to as “Food Trends.” It seems like they not only are amplified but glorified by the Food Network a.k.a. “The Most Ridiculous “Network” Ever.”
Since its regrettable inception in the 1990s, Food Network’s insertion of the term “Foodie” into everyday vocabulary has convinced a host of otherwise burgers-and-fries Americans to consider themselves master chefs since now they know about sun-dried tomatoes and chili-laced dark chocolate (both the pinnacle of 1990s food trends).
In the 2000s we saw the ushering in of douchey coffee-snobbery and the cutesy cupcake craze, both of which are disappointingly still going strong today. But what really left its mark was the “Low Carb” movement where American’s decided that eating grain, fruit or potatoes was bad for them. Things like mashed cauliflower as opposed to mashed potatoes was plated next to chicken or steak and burgers wrapped in tortillas were capitalized on by supermarkets and restaurants alike and damn, was it annoying.
In this day and time we’ve got food trends like salted-caramel everything, Doritos Locos Tacos from Taco Bell and a compulsive organic habit. But the sincerely infuriating trends are the vegan, self-diagnosed gluten intolerant.
You’ve probably encountered one. God help you if it’s an otherwise interesting woman you’d like to take out to dinner because, with absolutely no animal byproducts, including eggs or honey, and no gluten – wheat, rye, barley or oats or the tasty alcoholic beverages that begin with those ingredients being strictly off limits you’re sort of wondering what options might be left?
As this dietary trend spreads it gets scarier for us conventional omnivores and at times we may feel isolated as friends and family members succumb to these self-imposed dietary restrictions. If history has taught us anything though, it might be best to bear it all with a grain of salt – wait, is that vegan and gluten-free? – and have faith that this insanely annoying trend will go the way of fat-free and low-carb as soon as possible.