Dear Arthur,
My girlfriend thinks I dress like a slob. I admit I am a t-shirt and jeans type of guy and she wants me to wear these designer clothes like I’m on The Bachelor or something. It makes me very uncomfortable. How can I tidy up my image without having to walk around looking like a Calvin Klein billboard?
- Signed, The Devil Tries To Make Me Wear Prada

Your girlfriend is a clothes snob! She’s the type of woman who likes to whore out her bank account to whatever chic brand name is within her reach, and she wants you to do the same. There’s nothing wrong with cleaning up your image. Fashion victim turned seasoned newsman Geraldo Rivera has even went as far as suggesting that the youth should stop wearing hoodies: after the tragic death of Trayvon Martin.

Why? Because he felt that the urban hoodie look may frighten some people. I think he got beat up as a kid by someone in a hoodie and saw this as a chance to get revenge on hoodies everywhere. Evil Mustache vs. Hoodies could be the next Angry Birds-like app coming to a phone near you!

All jokes aside, I seriously doubt your t-shirt and jeans look could potentially cause a panic. Your fashion diva of a girlfriend, however, could end up dumping you.

My advice to you my friend is to compromise. Buy a few trendy shirts, but stay away from skinny jeans. We may live in a metrosexual world these days, but we’re still MEN!

Our balls and our word are all we have at the end of the day. Protect them both!