Staycations

Sometimes you just want to get away…but not enough to actually leave. Traveling is
expensive and you have to deal with buying gas or paying health insurance or accidentally being impregnated by your friendly TSA agents during a “random” search. So your pals over at the BW wanted you to know that you can get away from it all without ever having to leave the Metroplex. It doesn’t matter what prompts the trip, DFW has it all. Don’t believe us? See for yourself.

When you can’t stop them from nagging and you’ll do anything to shut ‘em up

Great Wolf Lodge
This Grapevine indoor splash oasis is just what you need to get the brats off your case. With dining, shopping, a spa, a kid spa, a fitness room, lagoons, creeks, rafts, and enough waterslides to keep your family wet and your wallet bone dry.
www.greatwolflodge.com/grapevine

When going to the movies with everyone else, eating the same crappy popcorn,
and having a human Shamu sitting next to you and taking your armrest just isn’t
cutting it any more

iPic Theater in Fairview
Now this is how you’re supposed to watch a movie! iPic is the ultimate movie escape. It may cost a little more than your average theater, but it’s worth it. Think about it, when was the last time you were actually comfortable at the movie theater? Exactly. iPic takes away the need to spring to the concession stand like you are running the 100-meter dash to ensure you get a good seat and there’s wine, champagne, Coronas, and Samuel
Adams at the friggin’ movies! Now if they could just figure out a way to execute people who text during movies.
www.ipictheaters.com

When you didn’t pull out fast enough and now you have to entertain the
results

Legoland
So you’ve made them and now you have to deal with it. Well you might as well make ‘em happy! It’s Legoland time. From the factory to the 4D Cinema and the Racers Build & Test any kid (boy or girl) will absolutely love this place. And this should make you smile; tickets are only $11.25 plus tax. Use the money you save to buy condoms.
www.legolanddiscoverycenter.com

When buying your clothes from the clearance bin at Big Lots! isn’t good
enough anymore

Highland Park Village
The Metroplex’s own little piece of Rodeo Drive with the same amount of $30,000 millionaires and real housewives. HP Village is the fastest way to blow through money in DFW without marrying Pilar Sanders. The misses can destroy your budget in stores like Jimmy Choo, LAFCO New York, Tory Burch, Christian Louboutin, Diane von Furstenberg and dozens more all while sipping a Starbucks Frappuccino without ever having to smell the stench of poor people.
www.hpvillage.com

When you have to make up for something…in a big way

The W Hotel
Ok so you forgot your anniversary, her birthday, or farted during her mother’s funeral and it’s time to bring out the big guns. Nothing says “Baby I’m sorry” like a ‘just because’ night at a hotel. This isn’t just any hotel; The W is chic and sexy enough to get you out of trouble. There is a spa, an award-winning restaurant in Craft and a 16th
floor pool view that will make her forget all about how much she wants to push you over the edge.
www.wdallasvictory.com

When you are one email away from going postal

Sweet Escape Spa
Escape the impulse to blow away everyone in the office and go relieve your stress the way that won’t get you 25-to-life, a therapeutic massage. Sweet Escape is DFW’s premiere men’s retreat spa where you can Zen-out to a Swedish, deep tissue, sports, hot stone or four hand massage. And your co-workers will never know how close they came to the end.
www.mysweetescapespa.com

By Cote Bailey – @BlitzWeekly

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