By Lew Patton
“Welcome to the place where we speed all day, where we bump and grind in a non-sexual way.”
This is one of many pearls of wisdom shared by actor/comedian/champion woodworker Nick Offerman in a new, extended promo celebrating NBC’s return to NASCAR. Before and after the Super Bowl (but not during the game) the network will air shortened versions of the music video, which features the Parks and Recreation star extolling the virtues of stock car racing.
Here’s the glorious spot in full:
Although Offerman isn’t playing a character in the video, I spent the entirety imagining that it was Ron Swanson shilling for NASCAR. Here are three more bon mots offered up by Offerman:
“You want Billy and Sally to learn about math and science, send ‘em to the school of NASCAR, they’ll thank you for it.”
“Sure, everybody at NASCAR gets a trophy, as long as they win the [expletive] race!”
“Maybe Jimmie Johnson will come back and kick some tuchas.”