Never in this column have I taken the time to inform you of a movie that is terrible and I won’t start now. I want to take the time to tell you about a movie that is so deplorable, so unbelievably bad that it has built an impenetrable fortress atop the mountain of cinematic sh*t that it calls home. And it will defend it’s title of ‘Turd King” with archers in the guard towers should any simply bad movie attempt to enter its hallowed halls. This movie is Jack & Jill and shame on Adam Sandler for making it.
This is the story of Jack & Jill, who are twins both played by Sandler and how they starred in the worst movie ever and how they took several Hollywood heavyweights down in flames with them. This movie was deemed horrific long before it made history at the Razzies this past weekend where it took home Worst Director (Dennis Dugan), Worst Supporting Actor (Al Pacino), Worst Supporting Actress (Katie Holmes), and the dreaded Worst Picture anti-award. And for good measure it also took home six more Golden Raspberries! This film was an epic fail on so many levels that everyone from the principle cast members to the fluffer (wait did this movie have a fluffer?…well it should have because it blew so much), to the guy that brought in the donuts should be taken out back and put down like Old Yeller. That’s why I started the F.S.S.E.A.T.M (The Fictional Society for the Systematic Execution for Actors in Terrible Movies) we’re a small bunch, but we’re scrappy!
Alas, there was a bright spot in the movie – when the credits were done rolling and the house lights came on.