If All Else Fails, Gett’em Drunk

The I’ll Drink Anything Except Lighter Fluid…Okay, Lighter Fluid Too:

Wambrechies Single Malt Whisky $19

A whisky that’s almost as pleasant as gargling pee. It also comes in Bic and Zippo flavors.

The Bookworm-turned-Party Animal:

Jägermeister $20 & 6-Pack of Redbull $9

If you haven’t seen your friend topless yet, wait five minutes. Ah, not like an incredible night followed by a morning of shame and regret.

The James Bond:

Three Olives Vodka $19 & Boodles British Gin $26

After four martinis anything at the bar starts looking like Octopussy.

The Rapper:

Gold Ace of Spades Champagne $269.99

Nothing pours down the crack of a stripper’s ass smoother.

The Snooty Bastard:

Parker’s Heritage Collection 27-Year-Old Small Batch Bourbon $200

This will get that rich S.O.B’s liver drier than beef jerky so you can get to the inheritance money one Christmas earlier.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply