By Cote Bailey
1. Telling a woman to “calm down” when she’s mad is like trying to baptize a cat.
2. When she says, “Do whatever you want.” Don’t.
3. That whole New Year’s resolution crap, screw it. You’re perfect just the way you are: fat, depressing, and inadequate.
4. Kids that sleep with electric blankets don’t wet the bed.
5. Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.
6. If your buddy buys a pair of skinny jeans, it’s time for you to go shopping too…for new friends