Dash to the Splash

In my opinion, man is at his best when man is on the water. This summer gain the favor of Poseidon and travel his seas in style. Too often we talk about going out to have fun on the lake, but we never get around to actually doing it – not this year! This year we shall be kings of the rivers and lords of the lakes. Fear us lowly guppies in your inadequately horse-powered lady boats. Put on your floatees and doggie paddle away from our vessels of nautical superiority. Bow before us on the dock and thank the heavens above that we even ride the same rivers as you. Make way, the champs are here.

Sea-Doo GTX Limited iS 260
Self-titled “The Yacht of Personal Watercraft” the GTX is like a floating Rolls Royce. Sea-Doo pulled out all the stops on this one with fully intelligent suspension, iControl technology, Speed Ties, 35-function digital information center, ultra-plush touring seat and I believe it even comes with a butler in a wetsuit. ($16,899)

Kawasaki Jet Ski Ultra 300Lx
This three-passenger high-performance Jet Ski is supercharged with an intercooled 1,498cc engine pumping out 300 hp. It’s fast and agile. Think of it like a water cheetah – a badass water cheetah (as if there are any other kind). The Ultra 300LX also has the largest fuel tank in its class. The only downside is that it only comes in one color. A better way to spray has yet to be invented. ($15,199)

Yamaha 212X
Finally, a way to make the Jones’ have to keep up with you. The 212X is one of the most likeable and practical boats to ever be built for recreational purposes. The aluminum wakeboard tower is awesome, the performance is incredible, and price tag is doable. Make sure to YouTube your neighbors reactions when they see this in your driveway. ($43, 999)

Laser Performance Sunfish Sailboat
The single most popular sailboat in history (other than Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria) has maintained its ability to make sailing enjoyable to people of all ages. It has classic styling and is unbelievably easy to put up, take down, and handle. Learn how to race them and impress the ladies with your nautical skills. Anyone can turn on an engine; it takes a real man to sail. ($4,695)

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